Final Post…at this location for the time being

All right, here’s the thing. I have done something a little out of character. I have taken a leap minus my regular analysis of all the possible angles.

The lowdown.

If you’ve been following my blog recently you know that one of my goals is to create a passive monthly income. One of the ways I have been considering seriously is to learn how to market online. I assumed that I would be learning at a decent pace, keep writing to develop a readership, and eventually strike out on my own…somehow.

Which brings us to what I’ve done. I’ve purchased some domain names (basically, internet addresses), I’ve gotten myself a web host (basically, a company that owns some property on the World Wide Web, of which they’ve rented me some space), and now I’m frantically trying to get up to speed with all the learning that’s involved (basically, doing all I can to build a business from the ground up).

I knew that I wanted to monetize my efforts on the net. What I didn’t know was how that would look. Now I’ve got a vision. It may be a little blurry, I’m really not sure what I’m seeing there in the distance, but I am going to do all I can to make my way toward it.

I am diving headlong into learning HTML, XHTML, CSS, and a bunch of other stuff that I don’t even know I don’t know yet.

Why the long face, Kore?

Long story short: I will not be able to deliver the quality I would like in this blog. I thought about slowing the pace of the posts. Maybe making them shorter. In the end I thought it best to just focus on getting up to speed so I can get to offering my new vision as soon as possible.

Realistically, I expect I will be able to get back online in about two to three months time. By then I expect I will have learned enough that I will be representing myself with a modicum of respectability. That may be unrealistic. I’m really not sure. I may be underestimating my abilities. It may happen sooner. You can be sure I will be doing all I can.

I will leave you with something I wrote as much for myself as anyone else.

Go Boldly

You can’t be reluctant to experience a lack of control of a situation. All you can ever do is control yourself. Let events unfold as they may. Use your self-control to influence the situations in which you find yourself.

Walk toward, and into, the unknown. Be secure in your ability to control yourself, to learn what is necessary to maximally influence the circumstances. You’ve been learning your entire life. You can continue to learn.

If you limit yourself to what you already know, what you’re comfortable with, you stifle your possibilities. The unknown is always outside of that comfort zone. So is growth. The expansion of your abilities requires the expansion of what you are comfortable doing. Stick with what you know and you’re stuck. It is on the other side of “I don’t know” that new knowledge lies.

Self-control is your portable comfort zone. You can take your ability to control your thoughts, words, and deeds anywhere you go. It doesn’t matter what is happening around you, what did happen, what will happen, what may happen – you are in control. You have the only control there is: self-control.

So go boldly. Know what you want and move toward it. Motion creates its own brand of emotion. If you move away from that which you fear, the fear grows. If you move toward that which you fear, the fear shrinks. If you move away from that which you want, the desire shrinks. If you move toward that which you want, the desire, the anticipation, grows. Forward motion is the common denominator in shrinking your fears and growing your desires.

So go boldly. You can only control yourself. That is all you’ve ever had. That is all you’ll ever need.

Contact information.

In the meantime, if anyone would like to contact me personally click this link to send an email: Korey. Please contact me if you would like to be informed on the opening of my new site, if you have some questions for me, or if you just want to stay in touch. Otherwise, leave a comment on the blog. I’ll take the time to respond to the best of my ability.

Copyright © 2008 by Korey Samuelson

Good Excuse #4

Positively reinforce someone for a job well done. What I mean is when you see something you appreciate, like good service in a restaurant, someone being helpful to a stranger, or as simple as a person who is smartly dressed, don’t keep it to yourself. Let them know. If you thought enough to notice it, and would like to see more of that behavior in the world, make sure you reinforce it.

Many people think it is a mistake to let bad behavior (e.g. poor service, rudeness, sloppy dress) go unpunished. I believe it is more of a mistake to let good deeds go unreinforced. People crave attention. Positive attention has more power to influence the world in a positive direction than negative attention.

Be prepared for some odd reactions. Some people rarely get positive reinforcement. They won’t know how to take it. Don’t be deterred. Remember the last time someone let you know that what you did was appreciated (it may have been a while). It felt good, didn’t it? So even if they don’t seem to be affected by what you say know that you have added a positive to a life that may be filled with negatives.

Make the appreciation easier to accept.

Something that might help when giving your appreciation is to end your statement with a question. For example:

• To a waitress in a busy restaurant – “I admire how calmly you are handling this lunch rush. How long have you worked here?”
• To someone who has helped a stranger carry a heavy load – “That was kind of you to give them a hand. Is it your policy to help strangers in need?”
• To someone who is smartly dressed – “That is a sharp pair of shoes. Where did you pick those up?”

By asking a question right after your reinforcing statement you give the person something to respond to other than the spotlight of positive attention. It will be less awkward for most people, yourself included. As I said, many people do not know how to handle positive reinforcement.

If someone were to come up to you and say, “You’re great,” it would be difficult to come up with a gracious response, wouldn’t it?

It would be much easier if they said, “You’re great. How did you get so good at that?” Now you have been given something with which you can move the conversation forward. You can let the appreciation sink in while you explain the work that went in to making it look so easy, for example.

Have fun with this one. You will not only positively influence someone else you will do the same for yourself.

Block Time: setting up a flexible day by day schedule

Last week I described how taking a time inventory is the first step to learning to make better use of the time you have available. I did this myself. I won’t go into all the exacting details but here is a breakdown of what my days look like:

A typical weekday (i.e. Monday through Friday)

Work: between 7 to 8 hours

Gym: 1.5 hours

Eating (including meal prep): 1.5 hours

Morning prep: 15 minutes

To bed prep: 10 minutes

Sleep: 6 hours

Driving: 10 minutes (the joys of a small town)

Tidying up (e.g. dishes): 30 minutes

Writing: 1.5 to 2 hours

These figures are not the same every day but they average out to the above. Adding it all up comes to 19 to 20 hours leaving 4 to 5 hours of discretionary time.

During the weekends the work hours are not there and I only train at the gym on Saturday. This gives me a total of 12 to 13.5 hours of discretionary time.

Captain Routine.

The way I live my life is pretty routine. I get up at the same time every day, go to bed at the same time, train at the same time, work the same hours. At least, I do this to the best of my ability. Sometimes circumstances (e.g. work schedule, gym closures) require me to adapt my routine. If it’s in my control the routine stays intact.

Blocking out segments of behavior.

Having inventoried my time the next thing I did was take some graph paper and block out all the routine activities of my day. I did this for three distinct days:

1. Monday through Friday (because every day is the same)
2. Saturday
3. Sunday

It looked like this for Monday through Friday:

• 5:00 Up, prep, eat
• 5:30
• 6:00 – Gym workout
• 6:30 – ” “
• 7:00 – ” “
• 7:30 – Home, shower, eat, prepare for work
• 8:00
• 8:30 – Work
• Etc.

Each square of the graph paper represented a half hour of time. I started at 5:00 (when I get up) and ended at 22:30 (when I go to bed). Once I could visually see when I was doing all my activities it struck me how little discretionary time I actually have in a day. There was literally no time to waste.

Fit in the new behaviors.

Seeing the available gaps in my schedule I started filling them with the new goal behavior. I decided when I would be doing my Stealth-Wealth training. I chose an appropriate time to study the lessons of Stealth-Influence. I shifted the writing to it’s most effective time slot. I scheduled laundry time, when I would buy groceries, when I would prepare meals for the entire week. I did this for each of the three “days” (i.e. the weekdays, Saturday, and Sunday).

Now I had all my behaviors blocked in my schedule.

Referring to The Plans I have for each Goal, which leads to The Week and The Day, I now have a structure into which I can simply plug behaviors. I check what I have planned for The Day and I know what I will be doing and when.

Too much regimentation?

Does it seem as if this is a very strict, regimented way of living life? It can seem that way.

The reality is that in order to achieve a goal certain behaviors must be enacted. The more often I can get myself to do what is necessary the sooner I will achieve my goal.

I accept that reality. For me to choose to make these behaviors routine is how I make myself more effective. Perhaps you want to take a more relaxed approach. That’s another way of living life. I am just showing you what I have chosen to do.

Flexible structure.

The beauty of blocking my time this way is that I can shift these time blocks around. If I have to start work at 7:00, instead of the regular 8:30, I know that I can still get my 1.5 hour workout in after work. Since I will then have some free time before work begins I may choose to do my daily one hour Stealth-Wealth training before work instead of after. Or I might choose to write for an hour before the early work start. It’s like water. The time blocks fluidly shift to fill in any gaps that are created by a change in plans.

Because I know how long I have committed to each behavior daily I am free to mess around with the timetable when it suits me. Maybe one day I only end up working for 5 hours. Now I can get all the training, studying, and writing done early and reward myself with a movie or a trip to the park or I might take a nap.

Tools are supposed to help you.

Often time management techniques create as much stress as they relieve. Time management is a tool. If the tool becomes too cumbersome it will be set aside. It is only when the tool makes your job, your life, easier that you gladly pick it up and put it to its proper use.

The time management techniques I have come up with seem simple enough to me. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I designed them according to who I am and what I like. There are many systems and techniques that a person can try. Find one that you like and fiddle with it until it becomes your very own. Then you’ll have your own ultimate time management system.

The wisdom of buying quality

I got some good advice years ago that I sometimes forget to follow. That’s not true. I don’t forget, I choose to ignore it. I regret it almost every time.

What was the advice? Always buy the highest quality you can afford.

Here’s my sad tale.

The episode that spurred today’s post has to do with some gym equipment I just bought for myself.

The gym at which I train does not allow chalk. I’m not a huge fan of this policy but it’s their prerogative. My regular wrist straps do not provide secure grip once I get to the heavy weight and my hands start to sweat. So I decided I would experiment with other lifting aids.

I saw an ad in a muscle magazine for a lifting strap called Versa Gripps™. There were numerous endorsements by well known muscle athletes but I was unsure. At the price I was a little skeptical.

Instead, I found some lifting hooks for less than half the price of those advertised straps. “These ought to do the trick,” I thought. “Plus, I’ll save money.” Nope. They’re uncomfortable and do not fit some of the thicker handles that I use.

I now plan to buy the Versa Gripps™ anyway. Not only did I waste my money but I wasted my time as I will need to order the V-Gripps online.

Here are some other examples:

• I talked myself out of buying a good quality paring knife for a cheap, $4.95 version. Surely it’ll do the job adequately. No need to spend $30. Now, every time I cut tomatoes I think about how nice it would be to have a good knife.
• Or the time I bought a cheap cordless phone. I used to have to smack it to stop the static from disrupting my conversations.
• Same thing with a cheap answering machine: tinny sound.
• Poor quality umbrella, cheap portable stereo, etc. etc.

On the positive side I’ve had these experiences with high quality:

• I bought an excellent headset phone that has given me years of trouble-free service.
• When I first started training in the gym I splurged on a blender for the many protein shakes I knew I would be consuming in the years to come. That blender lasted over 18 years of near daily use. (I still think about that blender once in a while. Good times, good times.)
• I was given a pair of Adidas™ track pants that at the time seemed too nice to use during athletic pursuits. I have had them for over 13 years now. Except for a small tear in the knee, from a fall on the pavement, they look as good as when I first got them. A true testament to high quality merchandise.

I can not think of a time when I have regretted investing in merchandise of high quality.

What’s my malfunction?

What I try to ignore, at times, is that the purchase cost of an item is only part of the total cost. I may save some dollars up front but overall the total cost of high quality is lower. High quality merchandise lasts longer, rarely needs to be replaced, and needs repair less often than the cheaper counterparts. Price is not always a direct correlation of quality, just most of the time.

My mother relayed a humorous saying that I think is apropos: I may not be fast but I’m slow. One day I’ll give up the idea that I can get quality by failing to pay for it.

How about you? Can you relate to my experiences with quality?

What does it mean to be productive?

Do you ever consider the meaning of productivity when it comes to creating your personal wealth?

I am limited greatly in my means of getting wealthy because of my understanding of what it means to be productive. I guess I’m just old fashioned. Not sure what I mean? Read on.

I will never win the lottery.

I don’t buy lottery tickets. The slogan many years ago for a lottery company to induce ticket sales was “imagine the feeling.” They wanted you to imagine how your life would change if you won the multi-million dollar prize. I always thought it would be much more satisfying to imagine the feeling of actually having done something to earn that amount of money.

You may argue that it’s highly unlikely that those buying the tickets would be able to come up with a way to earn the money. I counter that the odds would be at least as good as actually winning the lottery. And the thought and effort put in to being productive would surely have payoffs that throwing money away never would.

No such thing as free lunch.

I will never voluntarily live off the system (e.g. welfare). As long as I am able bodied and able minded I will do all I can to stay away from any attempt at a free ride. I am aware that the idea of a free ride/free lunch is an illusion. Someone always pays. If it’s not me then it is someone else.

Idleness is the exact opposite of productivity. I would have a hard time looking myself in the eye if I knew that I was simply coasting through life by the grace of someone else’s effort. The idea of the free lunch reminds me of a fantastic quote by Claude Frederic Bastiat, a French economist:

Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.

I will never steal another’s property.

I understand fully the intellectual output and physical effort required to produce wealth. Seeing another person’s prosperity does not bring out the desire to strip them of that prosperity. It brings out the desire to match the results and the productive ability, which is the cause of those results.

There’s a song called “I’d Love To Change The World.” It was released in the early 1970’s by a group called Ten Years After. A line from the song goes: Tax the rich, feed the poor, Till there are no rich no more. In typical hippie fashion their solution is not in elevating the poor but in destroying the rich.

Spreading wealth around is a commonly propounded solution to help those in financial need. Giving someone money is usually not helpful. If there is no knowledge of how to earn money there is a concurrent lack of knowledge of how to keep money or even spend it wisely, let alone make it grow. I’ve read that roughly one-third of lottery winners find themselves in financial difficulties or even bankrupt within five years of winning. This includes winners who were not in financial difficulties before they won.

Productiveness is key.

The key to money is not having it, it’s having the ability to produce it. And money is the result of creating values, of which money is a representation.

I liken productiveness to the ability to create health. If you have no understanding of the habits of health then being born into a healthy body may not help you live very long. Choosing unhealthy foods, shirking exercise and fresh air, and other poor choices will erode the condition of the healthiest specimen.

But if you understand the habits and choices that lead to health, that maintain health, then you are in a much better position. Even in the event of an illness you will know what to do to get back in the pink.

To be productive.

So I’ve limited my options, in one sense – I’ve always thought that I should earn my wealth. I won’t leave it to blind luck, I won’t coast on a government handout, I won’t steal it from others. Neither will I beg for charity, or utter threats, or commit fraud. I have chosen to be productive.

Being productive, to me, means that I will create more values than I consume. There are millions of ways to create values, so I haven’t really limited myself in the end.

Good Excuse #3

Write a heartfelt letter. In this day of instant communication receiving a hand written letter can be a novel experience. Your letter may become a keepsake that is cherished for years to come.

Take the time to say some things that you may neglect saying in person or on the phone. Things like: I love you, I appreciate who you are, you mean a lot to me.

Exactly what is an interaction?

My goal, in the category of Relating & Relationships, is “To practice Stealth-Influence in every interaction.” I’ve described what I mean by Stealth-Influence, somewhat, and now I will elaborate on what I mean by “interaction.”

So what is an interaction, anyway?

My thoughts started out with a vague idea of what constituted an interaction:

• any time I am speaking with someone (or more than one)
• any time there is an opportunity for conversation and I want to initiate, or not speaking would be considered rude
• when I meet someone
• if it is a choice between being indifferent and being friendly always choose friendly behavior

I had it stuck in my head that an interaction was only when verbal behavior was occurring. The word behavior got me to thinking. Communication encompasses both verbal and non-verbal behavior.

A smile is definitely an effective means of communicating friendliness, support, encouragement, or several other possibilities, a threat even. Well, that was interesting. Suddenly the potential of an interaction expanded greatly. An interaction could be a conversation, a single word, or no words at all, just body language.

What about my writing? I don’t even need to be present for my words, symbols of my thoughts, to influence others. My presence wasn’t even a necessity. That was intriguing.

How about this: If someone I’m not aware of sees me at the grocery store, considers me to be in good physical condition, then sees the food I have in my grocery cart (all healthy choices) they might be influenced to think about their diet and habits of health. I don’t even need to be aware of my influence for it to have an effect.

So what have I concluded?

My life is how I influence people. I can’t refrain from interacting with the world. Everything I do exerts an influence. I can never be certain that something I say or something I do will not have an effect.

So I must ask myself this question: “Is my life having a positive influence?”

If I can answer honestly that it is at least 51% positive and only 49% negative then I can go to sleep nightly knowing that I am making a positive difference with my life. Obviously, I would like the positive influence to far outweigh the negative but I know that I am not perfect. If I can be better tomorrow than I was today that’s a trend I can live with and that is a goal worth pursuing.

Bottom line, “To practice Stealth-Influence in every interaction” means to exert my influence toward the positive in the moment of choice. The relationships I have with others is an extension of the relationship I have with myself. By making the positive choice, within myself, I am doing all I can to positively influence everything else.

Positive? Says you!

Who determines what is positive? I do, when it comes to my own life. You do, when it comes to your life. We exert influence on each other and so does everyone else. As long as no one is initiating force as a means of influence we all have the freedom to choose what is positive for ourselves. That is the basis of a free society – freedom from physical coercion. There can be no authority higher than our own choice.

Well, that post started out simply enough. It ended with a little politico-moralizing. I wonder how this will go out into the world and influence things. I’m sure of one thing, I chose my words with care. I’ll be sleeping soundly tonight.

Everything I know about life I learned in the gym

Today, I am offering my tongue in cheek guide to the rules of life I have gleaned from my days of training in the gym.

Intention. Before you pick up a weight or jump on the treadmill you need to know what you want to achieve. For every goal – whether it’s fat loss, muscle gain, bigger shoulders, shapely legs, or the ability to touch your toes – there will be workouts suited to that result.

Reality. It’s important to get an understanding of your starting point. This may mean a physical check up from your doctor or just a good look in the mirror. When you know what you have you know what you need to work on.

Integrity. You strengthen your mind as much as your body when you train on the days that you don’t feel like training. If it’s a scheduled workout and you skip it you’ve just made it easier to skip the next one.

Honesty. When you write your results in your workout log don’t fudge the numbers. Doing so will only rob you of valuable feedback.

Action. The best workout and the ideal diet will only help you if you act on them. Being a gym member is not the same as being in the gym, training.

Fluidity. You need to be able to change workouts on the fly. Maybe your usual piece of equipment is being repaired. There is more than one way to work the medial deltoid.

Reality. You can not fake your level of strength. If you’re not strong enough to lift the weight you won’t lift it. But you can train to get stronger until you can lift that weight and more.

Assertiveness. If someone is using the machine you need next it is up to you to ask if you can work in with them.

Courtesy. There are other people in the gym, be neighborly. Take the plates off the bar and wipe down the bench when you’re done.

Equality. Size and strength does not give you priority. The woman squatting with 90 lbs has just as much right to the squat rack as the monster squatting with 800 lbs. Did they each pay their membership dues? Then each has equal access to the equipment.

Emotions. How you feel emotionally in the moment is irrelevant when you are in the gym. Put it aside, push through it, whatever. There’s a workout to be done.

Work. It’s called a workout for a reason – it involves work, effort. If you’re not sweating you’re doing it wrong. Even yoga is hard when you do it right.

Persistence. Sometimes progress comes slowly. It is the day in and day out training, even in the face of inevitable plateaus, that yields the desired results.

Balance. You can’t expect to enjoy every exercise and every muscle group. If you only do the exercises or train the muscle groups you enjoy you will surely stall out in your progress. Many a bench press champion has learned the wisdom of training the rotator cuff, tedious though it may be.

Responsibility. No matter the guidance received it is up to you to create your own results. No one can do your leg raises for you.

Recuperation. You must rest and recover between workouts. All work and no play is a recipe for injury and burnout.

Feedback. Keep a written log of your workouts, your diet, and your body measurements. When you have a record of your progress, or lack of progress, it’s easier to make necessary changes. Relying on memory is a mistake.

Focus. When you’re in the gym, train. Don’t chat with friends, don’t read magazines, don’t talk on your cell phone. Your results will reflect the level of your focus in the gym.

Progress. Every time you are in the gym strive to improve your last performance. Lift more weight, perform one more repetition, increase the incline on the treadmill by a half degree. Every small improvement adds up to great progress.

Vanity. You are in the gym to develop your strength not demonstrate it. Where the ego leads foolishness usually follows.

In closing allow me to shout some slogans at you: “It’s all you. Two more. Nothin’ but a peanut. Come on. Feel the burn.” Motivated? Me neither. That kind of motivation never did anything for me. My slogan is “Be quiet, lift heavy.” I’m pretty sure my brother came up with that one. Yoink.

If you have any interesting ones you’d like to add, either rules or good slogans, leave them in the comments.

Time inventory: what are you doing with your time, right now?

Having set four goals for myself in the areas I deem important it became apparent that I would have to do some things differently with my time.

Goals and behavior.

As you remember from my post on changing Self-Identity every goal must be translated into behavior. The more complex the goal the more behaviors will be involved. That’s where The Plans come in. The Plans are the steps, literally the behaviors, you must take to achieve your goals.

So I set four goals, broke those goals into behaviors, which became some rudimentary plans, and concluded that I would have to make time for those new behaviors.

For example, my goal to earn a passive gross monthly income of at least $3000 involves learning internet marketing techniques (this is the avenue of passive income I have decided to explore first). I’ve become a member of an online internet marketing community that offers instruction for a monthly fee. I needed to make time to learn and apply the lessons.

New results come from new actions.

Here is a very important distinction to grasp: Any time you have decided to achieve a goal you have decided to do what it takes to achieve it. This is the difference between a Goal and a Dream. A Goal requires behavior. You must do new things to achieve new results.

So there are things that you are not doing now that you must make time to do. If you are not willing to do anything different than you only have a Dream. I’m not laying a guilt trip on you, don’t lay one on yourself. Just be honest. Dream or Goal? If it’s a Goal let’s get to making the time available to get it done.

Take a time inventory.

Before I could make the time for the new behaviors I needed to know what I currently spend my time doing. I took a time inventory of my life.

Since I like routine it wasn’t difficult to sit down and take inventory without having to actually keep a time log for a week. If your days are a little more haphazard you may need to take a week of your life and journal your activities. Put a scrap of paper in your pocket, or use your pocket notebook that you use for The List, and make a note of the activity you are engaged in and the time every day for a week.

Many activities are fairly routine for most people. Things like work hours, when groceries are bought, relaxation time in front of the TV, toiletry habits, movie night, etc. There is no need to make a big deal out of the odd trip out of town or the day you got a flat tire on the way to work. What is important are the typical activities, what your normal days look like.

Time is like money…but not exactly.

If you’ve ever taken your financial inventory, or net worth, there is a parallel – you’re getting a sense of where you are. Count what you have in the plus column (e.g. cash, investments), count what you have in the minus column (e.g. debt, loans), and come up with your financial picture. If the picture is bleak you have the option to increase your income, the cash flowing into the plus column.

The thing about time is it’s finite. You can’t create more time. Everyone has the exact same number of hours and minutes in their day with which to create their lives. It boils down to shifting time slated for Activity A and choosing instead to do Activity B. That’s all there is to it. Simple, but not always easy.

Step one in time/activity mastery.

The first step is to figure out what you are doing with your time right now. Be honest. There is no need to share this information with anyone. If you are wasting spending time in front of the TV four hours every night make a note of it.

Next week we’ll be looking at what I did to make better use of my time by using the information gathered in my time inventory.

Good Excuse #2

Let a co-worker know that you appreciate them. It’s so much nicer at work when you enjoy the friendship of those you work alongside. When they lighten your load with their work ethic, their humor, or their positive outlook your day is better for it. Let them know they are making a positive difference in your life.